To beard or not to beard…?

I am 37 years old and have never had a beard so I thought it was about time I tried one out. At the moment my face furniture is only a few days old and I have come up against a serious snag. It itches like billy-oh and my chin and cheeks feel like it they a degree or two warmer than the rest of my hairless face. Is this normal?? The extra warmth I can put down to the insulating hairs but the itchyness is just plain annoying. Now, I am assuming that this wears off otherwise, surely nobody would grow a good old bushy mass of face fungus. I guess only time will tell. Maybe there are some cunning beard tricks and tips that someone could share with me.

There is so much to learn. Do I need to start washing my face with shampoo?? how long before I can platt it? Where can I get one of those groovy moustache nets that you wear when you go to bed? How far do I take this whole adventure? Can I get away with handlebars? Will I still be able to eat soup without tasting it the next day in my tash? How much beard stroking is allowed before people think I am a bit odd? Obviously I will look older and wiser but will I actually be any wiser? I think you will agree that it is a veritable minefield of potential crumb catching faux pas.

Any help or advice on this matter will be gratefully received…

I can see myself with something along these lines…


5 responses to “To beard or not to beard…?

  1. Good luck with the beard. I miss having one.

  2. haha LOL :)

  3. unfortunately (fortunately?) i know nothing about growing a beard, but i’m quite certain it will, indeed, make you wise. please, please, *please* post a photo of yourself when you’ve managed what the above (cheerful, white-haired) gentleman has accomplished. now that’s a beard!

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